Do I really need a Doula at my baby's birth?

Nope! You don't.

In fact you don't need a midwife, a doctor, a nurse or any other help to have a baby. Your body knows what it needs to do and with or without help it will go through the motions of delivering your baby when the time is right.

So why have one?

Because having a Doula on the team helps emotionally support your labour and birth just like having a midwife, a doctor or a nurse helps medically support your labour and birth.

Picture this ...

You are 7 hours into your labour, progressing slowly but steadily, contractions 3 minutes apart and manageable. You are irritable. It feels like nothing is happening and you just want to get on with it so you can finally hold and look at your baby.

Your nurse who is great has stepped away for a few minutes to take care of something. She's answered all your questions and been very helpful so far but it's getting busy in the ward and she has told you she will be in and out as she has another patient across the hall who has just come in and is in early labour.

Your partner is doing his best to support you but he is tired and getting hungry and you just barked at him to stop rubbing your leg when what you really wanted to say was "I love you and thank you for being with me." and now there is palpable tension between you.

Your mother, God love her, is also in the room and she is trying to be supportive but she's fluffed your pillow one too many times and you are pretty sure if she shares the story of how short her labour was with the hospital staff one more time you will have her kicked out and will not let her see her Grandchild til his/her 3rd birthday!

The Nurse comes back to the room and has the doctor right behind her. The Doctor checks your progress and says " Looks good right now. Shouldn't be more than a few more hours." as he leaves the room.

You start to cry. Did the Doctor really just say a few more hours!

Hours!

You aren't going to make it a few more hours. You don't have the strength or stamina to do this anymore and you just want to pack it up and go home and you tell that to everyone in the room, in a loud and demanding voice as tears pour down your cheeks. They just laugh and tell you not to be so silly, you can't go home now cause your having a baby.

This is why you need a Doula.

So fist off let's be clear I know that the picture I just painted is the extreme but it gives you an idea of what can happen during labour. The picture might look a bit different for a home birth but you get the idea. In my experience, those people who think they are fully prepared to handle the emotions that arise during labour often realize too late that there are things they did not consider and are not prepared to handle. Often these emotions have nothing at all to do with the birthing part of labour.

So how can a Doula help you when you already have the support of partners, friends, and family?

1. A Doula is there to help you. We are not there to help you deliver a baby or take your vital signs. We are your link to physical and emotional support. We will tune into you and your needs and will ask for your input in assisting you with finding comfortable positions, focal points. We do that with no emotional baggage fogging up the situation.

2. We are trained. We understand the mechanics and the process of labour and we can help you understand the situation. We know how to help you use your words to ask for more information or understanding when options are given to you. We will not advocate for you but we will help you advocate for yourself.

3. If you are having a hospital birth there will most likely be shift changes and break coverage depending on the length or your labour. This means new faces entering the room who will have been advised of the history of your labour so far but they may not be as in tune with you as you need them to be when a strong contraction or transition happens. Your Doula will be.

4. We will help your partner stay in tune with you as your labour progresses. Many partners do not have support for their role during labour without a Doula present. Sometimes partners are not prepared emotionally for seeing the women they love in pain or under a lot of stress and they don't know how to help. By nature they are providers and if they feel helpless they become less help. Doulas will help them find ways to help you and will include them in the birth.

5. Your support team will need breaks for food, sleep, a shower etc depending on the length of your labour and we will be there to provide continuous support if others need to step out for a short time. We can also help manage the visitor load as things progress. I have even done the dirty work of asking that unwanted well meaning person to leave the room when the labouring woman didn't want them present.

So do you really need a Doula at your birth?

Nope.

But you should want one because having a Doula on the team helps emotionally support your labour and birth just like having a midwife, a doctor or a nurse helps medically support your labour and birth.